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Introduction |
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The Great Bank Job Issue When Dave Zeltserman first approached me to guest edit this issue of Hardluck Stories, I was thrilled, at least until my suspicions started kicking in. After all, was I really Gumpa the Gorilla Boy, or in fact nothing more than the byproduct of a psychotic meltdown? Was it possible that I was simply a delusional personality lurking within Zeltserman? Because as real as I seemed to myself, I was beginning to have my doubts about some of the others hanging around, especially Spritzo. He’s supposed to be the lesser known of the Marx brothers – Gummo beating him out by a mile as far as popularity goes. Spritzo’s shtick is spritzing saliva in your face as he shouts, “Please don’t pick the petunias!” I don’t even know what the hell that’s supposed to mean, but then again the guy’s an idiot, if he actually exists, that is. But it wasn’t just Spritzo – there were others, especially that Johnny Lane detective fellow who kept skulking about. One hell of a scary dude, the way he’d give you that dead-eyed grin. Something not quite right about him.
So there I was, wondering if any of us were real or just figments from some schizophrenic’s fevered brain, and then I realized it didn’t matter. At least not if I got this web-zine done before the shock treatments were started. And I figured if the others pitched in there was no reason why I couldn’t. And they did. Me, Zeltserman, Spritzo, the others, even Johnny Lane. And the stories we got for this issue were fucking fantastic. All of us agreed on that. Now I know Spritzo’s kind of an idiot so you can’t take what he says seriously, but that Lane is one shrewd individual, and I even overheard Zeltserman talking on phone how he thought several of these stories were serious Edgar contenders, and I got to agree. Even though I’m just a Gorilla Boy.
To be honest, the idea of the Bank Robbery theme was Johnny Lane’s, and I suspect he had an ulterior motive for that, maybe to get some ideas of how to pull off a job. I can’t prove it, but those are my suspicions. Still, I loved the idea. I mean you’ve got everything in a bank robbery story: desperation, explosiveness, chaos, and even occasionally extreme acts of bravery. And the stories we got ran the gamut.
Hard to believe that Amends by Walker Dollahon is Walker’s first published story. Just too damn good to be someone’s first story, or someone’s hundredth story for that matter. Jimmy Cooper is going to lose his farm unless he follows Cap Pressler into a bank robbery. What follows isn’t what you’d expect in this small Texas town, post-World War II story.
What’s in a Name by Robert William Wagner may be the most touching and queasy story Hardluck has ever had the pleasure of publishing. It takes a bank robbery to get Angela and Charlie to break through their shyness and connect, and boy do they connect. In a way even more intimate than sex.
The Last Act by Barry Baldwin has two hard cases, Harry and Myra meeting and not quite falling in love. But they do decide to rob a bank together. Lane, with a tear in his eye, confessed to me that this was his favorite, which only confirms that he’s a sick fuck.
The Inside Man by Gary Lovisi is a slice of pulp heaven. For those of you haven’t yet discovered Gary’s Griff & Fats stories, this will give you a good idea of what you’re missing. Gary’s one of the true pure hardboiled writers out there, and this story of an inside man who gets upstaged is as hardboiled as it gets.
The Inside Job by J. Mark Bertrand is a haunting story of a reluctant bank robber caught between guilt and obligation. A pure hardluck story of a man who’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t.
“One Step Closer” by Iain Rowan is a pitch-perfect story of a bank robbery gone very wrong. A bystander stuck in the middle of the robbery gets a chance to redeem past indiscretions with one pure unselfish act. This is one of those stories whose rhythms will stick in your head for days.
Venus in Transit by Chick Lang features the Fruit of the Loom grape-guy getting involved with Leah, a somewhat unstable pickpocket. Leah wants them to rob a bank, but is something more going on? This story’s an example of why you got to be careful who you fall into a relationship with. Even a Gorilla Boy knows that!!
If those stories weren’t enough, damn we got a special treat with you. That Zeltserman fellow had one of his typically twisted noir stories adapted to graphic form by an extraordinarily talented artist, Jean-Pierre Jacquet. Zeltserman working in Boston, Jean-Pierre in France, and the end result is Nothing But Jerks, a complete 21-page noir comic book!
Rounding out this issue: Kevin Tipple talks to Reed Farrel Coleman, and Dave Zeltserman talks to Gary Lovisi. Hey, I might just turn out to be an imaginary figment fated to vaporize the moment the shock treatments start, but at least I know I put out the best damn issue of a crime fiction web-zine the world has so far seen.
Sincerely as always, Gumpa the Gorilla Boy
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